The Zombie Apocalypse And Why You Think You Want One But You Don’t

Recently, I started a new job in a highrise in my capital city.

As they took us for our first tour around the building, I found myself plotting out certain points that would be handy for a zombie apocalypse, such as ‘this floor has a balcony for growing plants and food’ or ‘you can’t get up this section of the elevator without a swiping card’.

I would like to let it be known that I have just read the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, and I must admit, this may be having some influence over my idle thought trains. However, I now have a pact with my training group that some of us have to run to Bunnings and secure what we’ll need to be self-sufficiant on top of a highrise in the event of a zombie apocalypse, so I have that going for me, which is nice.

But it got me thinking. I’ve seen a lot of stuff on 9gag or Facebook about how cool it would be to experience a zombie outbreak. And yeah, it would be.

 

For about a day.

And then you’re all eaten and shit, or so scared you’re useless. I think what you want, my friends, is virtual reality.

For our generation, born and raised on the rise of video games, it becomes difficult for us to lock in the idea of settling down with a 9-5 job, getting married, having kids and a mortgage and then dying off slowly, because that’s what everybody wants us to want. I think this longing for a zombie apocalypse is actually a subconscious desire to escape society’s expectations of us, and to shake up the system a bit.

Which, don’t get me wrong, I totally sympathize with, 110%. I’m your guy if you want to complain about society.

But I just think hoping for the doom and destruction of the human race is a little too much.

But then again… shotguns and stuff.

But then again… running.. and death… hmm

Please come back when I figure this out.